week.[{SIES}]

Week 6! Soon I will be in my parent’s house, cuddling with my puppy, avoiding the cold, and once again partaking in hot showers. I’m not sure how I feel about it yet, to be honest.

This week flew by with a ton of activities and obligations. Last Thursday night was Wascar’s 29^th birthday—so we got to go to a surprise party for him which was really fun!  Actually, that night Wascar thought he was walking Kristin and I to a friend’s house because it was late at night (which I’m sure really annoyed him, as it was his birthday…haha!) and when we arrived he was met with a loud, “Surprise!!” and a bunch of confetti… that also managed to find a semi-permanent home in my hair and scalp for the rest of the week. Can you say—‘really awkward dandruff’??? Other than that, it was a really fun chance for me to get to spend time outside of church with the young adults in Hato Mayor. Kristin and I were really excited to eat some birthday cake, but to our dismay, when the women came out of the kitchen with the plates, they were full of yucca, spaghetti with corn, and some boiled plantains. I politely (and disappointedly) declined. When it comes to birthday party food, I think I could teach the people here a lot. I’m afraid my mom generally set the bar for birthdays way too high.

Friday passed pretty uneventfully. It was laundry day, but laundry has gotten easier for me since arriving here—partly because my little wrists are getting stronger…and partly because my definition of “acceptably-clean-enough-to-wear-again” clothes has become a lot less strict. Like, a lot less strict.

On Saturday the madness began! A large number of Pastor Carlos’ church loaded into the two big trucks and set off for the first prayer march around the prison in El Seibo. The prayer walk itself was incredible. It truly feels like living out a Bible story…the whole time I was thinking about how Joshua’s followers at Jericho must have felt as they walked around the city walls. We had a group of around 60-75 people and first we marched around the entire city block that circles the prison. We prayed both silently and aloud for God to break the spiritual barriers and walls that have set themselves up against His presence in the prison. We prayed for the hearts of the prisoners, the guards, and of anyone we might come in contact with over the course of this restoration, to be receptive to God’s message of salvation and love for them. After we circled the block, we went inside the outer walls of the prison to circle the building itself. On each side of the rectangular building, we stopped and laid hands against the walls of which the men sleep every night. Every once in a while, when I would open my eyes, I could see men struggling to see through the grated windows of their sleeping area, trying to see what all the commotion outside was about. Little did they know we are praying for their souls!!! God is so big. To end, we all formed a prayer circle outside the front doors of the prison and prayed again. Near the end, one of the men from the prison—the “jefe” or boss, as we were told, of the prisoners—was allowed to be released from the prison to ask for prayer from our group. How could a thing like that happen without the power of the living God?! I can’t wait to go back tomorrow for round 2 around the prison. The plan is to march 7 times around the walls just like the Israelites did at Jericho. Can’t wait to tell you all how it goes!

After the march at Seibo, Kristin and I made our way back home with Chappy and his wife Sandee (Chappy is the founder and leader of MOTE, the prison ministry here in the DR, and they are from San Diego). They live in a city called Boca Chica in a beautiful house with the cutest little poodle mix, Gabriel, and the most high-tech security system I have seen in the DR (they were robbed at gunpoint a few months ago). Despite being in a new place again, I was so blessed by the rest that we got to have at their house. You know the best part? We got to make our own food. And it was the best kind—wraps and smoothies and sandwiches. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, the way Carlos and Teresa have taken care of me here in Hato Mayor is incredible, but it has left me very dependent and without a lot of freedom. I eat three times a day, but I don’t pick “what” and I don’t pick “when.” And there have definitely been no midnight Doritos runs.

Staying with them, apart from the food and hot showers, provided such a time of reflection and direction and Christian community. You’d be amazed how spiritually hungry you can still be, going to church four times a week! Sandee and Chappy’s encouragement, love, mentorship, advice, and laughter was exactly what I needed this weekend. I have asked Chappy to pray about the possibility of taking me on as an ‘intern’ of sorts with MOTE (the prison ministry) starting this spring. We are waiting to see if the Holy Spirit leads. That’s all I can do with that.

On Sunday night, Chappy dropped Kristin and I off at a ministry called SCORE in Juan Dolio. SCORE has a compound that takes short-term mission groups and sets them up with work here in the Dominican Republic. They cater mostly to sports teams and medical mission teams, and have long-term missionaries living at their compound as well. Kristin was asked to be a coordinator for translators (finding and bringing them to SCORE) and I went along to help her. Little did I know, for the next three days I would be translating for the medical team as well in the communities and prisons! I worked with the pharmacy and physical therapy teams, and I am officially a translator. And I met some of the best people, that I am now happy to call my friends. My experiences this week are spurring me on to study like crazy when I get back to the US.

I truly can’t explain how amazing it felt to feel useful after spending nearly 2 months in Hator Mayor, never being asked to do anything. This week has turned a new (and much-awaited) chapter in my work here in the Dominican and the potential ministry I can see myself having here. When I come back (yep, she just said ‘when’ folks) I know that I will not be staying with Pastor Carlos—and I believe, being the good leader that he is, he would not allow me to either. I have gotten a taste of independence and freedom this week, and it is almost painful being back up in my bunk bed today. It’s growth and change and sometimes it doesn’t feel good! And though I don’t know for certain what lies ahead for me, I do know what doesn’t.

As I wrap up this update, I feel uneasy. I know the feelings I have in my heart—the promptings of the Holy Spirit and the awareness I now have of God’s hand in my circumstances—but I am hesitant to put them in writing. Too hesitant to claim them. Too prideful and afraid of being wrong. I think, “Kayla, what if you tell everyone and it doesn’t work out and you look like an idiot? A dreamer? A naïve, little do-gooder?” “What if the money doesn’t come? You can’t explain your ministry?”  

God’s word tells me that He gives me a spirit of power and self-control, not of timidity or fear. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear or timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7. So I’m just going to say it: I feel like I’m going to be back in the DR already this spring, working with Kristin, Chappy, and Carlos, finding opportunities to translate, and fumbling my way through life here. I am not going to look for a job when I get home, so please don’t ask me how my job hunt is coming along. The thought of raising support and refinancing my loans makes me want to throw up. The most valuable items I own to my name and can sell for cash are my laptop and a P90X video series. Lord that is depressing. I don’t know how it’s all going to work out. But I know I can’t go back home, get a job, and forget how I have felt for the last two months. I say this because I need to be held accountable. Because when I am home and comfortable and settling back into life I need you to come along side me and say, “Kayla…remember when you said ____?”

Because I know my own heart and its capacity to forget God’s voice.

Thanks, you guys. God bless you all.

kayla

week.[CINCO]!

Wow! I haven’t had to write 2011 on anything yet! The "new year" feels weird, and yet very, very appropriate.

I sit here this morning curled up on the floor with Kristin’s beloved laptop on my lap listening to the sound of winter rain on the rooftop. My friend Kristin left me on the 1^st, and now that she is back, I can assuredly say I missed her much more than her computer (but I sure missed the Internet)! That said, I apologize to anyone for not returning emails, but last night when I logged onto Hotmail I had 47 emails in my Inbox. Really that means I won’t be answering my emails. Sorry.

Last Thursday night, Kristin, Jayne, Garryl & I spent our last night debriefing together in the Dominican Republic. On Friday we woke up relatively early to eat breakfast together, pack up their things, and take off in a van with Pelile, our driver, to the airport. Our conversation on the way was certainly anointed by God, and we all said our goodbyes with a clearer picture of God’s vision for us as individuals for the future. We all truly feel that Jayne and Garryl were being sent back to the US as missionaries to their own communities and Kristin and I were able to see a more tangible future for ministry here in the DR. In all honesty, I can’t believe how much I grew to love that couple in one, short week. I have started to experience what it feels like to “fall in love in the Spirit” and I can truly say that I love them. The good I want for them is almost indescribable and gives me a glimpse of the good our Heavenly Father must have in mind for us. I think that when I return to the US, I will be spending a few weeks with Jayne and Garryl in Minnesota as I finish Restoration videos and talk with Kristin about what we’re going to do next! J

As we got back from the airport, Kristin and I didn’t have a lot of time before we left for the church service being held at CC Shalom for New Year’s Eve. The service lasted from 8:00pm-12midnight and we brought in the New Year with singing, a message, and a GIGANTIC group hug (or “hug group” as Carlos mistakenly called it at first…haha)! At midnight everyone broke the group hug and began running around to hug everyone. As I was hugged by nearly everyone in the church, I couldn’t help but feel like I was home. Like these people are my family, and I’m perhaps just the Fed-ex man’s kid. Even the people here who don’t normally talk to me get sad looks on their faces when I tell them that I am leaving on the 20^th. I knew someone would miss me here when I’m gone!

On the 1^st, Kristin left for Boca Chica with Sandee and Chappy (who came to visit for the New Year’s Eve service and spent the night at Carlos’ place). We all had a great all-morning conversation out in the Tiki Hut—which was great because once the team left we haven’t had a lot of opportunities to just sit and fellowship out there and I miss it. I gave Kristin a hug goodbye on Saturday, fully expecting to see her on Monday morning to work at SCORE with the translators, but it turned out that God had other plans for me...

On Sunday morning, I really felt like God was telling me that I needed to just shut myself up in my room for a couple of days; that He needed all of my attention because I get distracted so easily. As I explained to a semi-concerned and confused Pastor Carlos that I was going to lock myself in my bedroom until Wednesday and not work with SCORE that week, I began wondering what in the world God was going to show me on top of what He’s already been saying to me here. Last week’s letter alluded to things that God is changing in my heart—and I will just briefly list some of the things He’s been telling me: this is a time of rebuilding for me, a time of restoration (like if God’s going to use me to help people, He has to build me up on a solid foundation first), practicing long-suffering and patience, He’s only giving me little bites at a time but this is certainly not the end of my time in the DR, and if He showed me what He really has planned for me (not only am I not ready yet, but) I would run away because it would be too much to handle. As I begin to practice taking thoughts captive, my dreams—kind of unpleasant ones—are intensifying and I am being woken up in the middle of the night to be attacked while I am still groggy and not thinking clearly. Damn that devil. I also am not sure that if I’m going to be able to come back to the US and wear makeup or jewelry or (let’s be honest) half of the clothes in my closet. These last 3 days in particular I learned about temptation, secret sin, unforgiveness, and the danger of trying to be my own savior by following the rules TOO well. Obviously I had nothing to learn, right? Wowza. Still I feel as if something in my heart is “bottle-necking” the plans and love God has for me. Something has started to break open this morning, but I don’t have my mind wrapped enough around it to explain yet. Maybe next week!

As I’ve reflected on my updates leading up to this week, I realize that the longer I’m here the more internal God’s work is becoming in me. Also, the more boring externally these newsletters must be getting for all of you. Sorry! As far as actual ACTION is concerned, I am convinced that I am the very worst missionary. I am sorry. Janell, all of your pictures still sit in my drawer. Laura, I still have your son’s picture in my binder and it has not moved (nor has the container from customs). After my “better ask for forgiveness than permission” solo-run a few weeks ago, I am more confined than Jacobina in this compound. Sometimes I stumble into Teresa’s kitchen asking her if I can help her with something, and she always says, “No, I do…” and shoos me away politely. Maybe I should be more honest and starting yelling, “Teresa, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME GO SIT IN THAT BUNKBED BY MYSELF ANYMORE!” I have been studying Spanish a lot lately…as a matter of fact, this week I watched the Lion King, Freedom Writers, and CSI in Spanish ;)

It seems that 2 months in Hator Mayor is just long enough to wear out your welcome before making friends with people who stop by just to visit you. No one tells you about the in-between missionary. You know, after you’ve been welcomed and waited on and the honeymoon is over, and everyone goes back to their own families and jobs and lives and you’re left with just enough time to realize that you don’t have any of those things here. It doesn’t really feel like an adventure—more like house arrest with really bad TV. That said, I truly love Carlos and Natasha and Teresa, and I love being here. I love them. I just don’t love that they have a life here that—no matter how hard I try—I can’t seem to weasel my way into full-time.

Please continue praying for me! As my time here draws quickly to a close, I have a lot of thoughts going around in my head and it’s easy to start worrying about the future. In particular, I’m thinking about going to MN and finishing the Restoration DVDS while staying with Jayne and Garryl, refinancing my school loans, raising support, considering language school, and picking up odd jobs to get some money in the meantime. I don’t know how people who don’t know God do it! I know Him and have experienced His providence, and some days I still just want to stick my head in the sand.

What’s next?

week.{CUATRO}

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

What a whirlwind my life seems to be. Sometimes I find myself far too busy living it to find time to sit and write it down. Typing up this letter is truly an act of discipline this afternoon. I hope you all had a warm, meaningful Christmas with those you love—and I hope you had a chance to thank your Father for His gift, His Son, who gives us life everlasting if we believe in and follow Him.

 It seems this week was a kick-off for Stage Two of God’s plan for me here—Operation Fledgling: Kayla Flies Solo.

As I mentioned in my last letter, Kristin’s friends Jayne and Garryl (a couple from her home church in Minnesota) came to stay with us for a week starting last Thursday. Due to an unfortunate miscommunication from Spanish to English, Kristin and I arrived at the airport to greet them 3 hours early…but if you think people watching at the Sioux Falls mall is fun, you should spend a few hours in the Santo Domingo airport! I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I met Jayne and Garryl (who were much younger and prettier than I had imagined) and left the airport with them wondering why in the world my path was crossing with this couple in the middle of the Dominican Republic. I will admit that I wasn’t overjoyed at the thought of sharing my one and only friend with them for the week…but God is powerful. And He is good. And He always has a plan.

It didn’t take more than a day for Garryl and Jayne to begin speaking prophetic words to me. They told me that God is tearing down walls in my life to rebuild me in this time. “But Zion said, ‘The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.’ ‘Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands, your walls are ever before me.” Isaiah 49: 14-16. They spoke out of Isaiah, Zephaniah, and Zechariah (I can’t seem to turn my Bible past Isaiah these days). They told me that my work will be long, and God is teaching me patience. WOW! Remember: these are complete strangers!  They confirmed that I need to talk more with Chappy and his ministry here in the prisons of the Dominican Republic. They prayed for me and ministered to me and took time to listen to my scattered thoughts and feelings. God has humbled my simple, prideful heart through them and I am going to be sad when they leave tomorrow.

December 25^th this year was the strangest Christmas I have ever experienced. We ate our grand meal on Christmas Eve, so while Carlos took Kristin and her friends on a tour of Centro Cristiano Shalom’s ministry in Hato Mayor, I spent a really fun day in the kitchen with Teresa and Nati. We made a giant turkey with oranges inside (they think putting stuffing in the bird is gross) and a potato/apple salad with rice and beans. We had a few little candies for dessert, but in all honesty, they tasted like children’s grape flavored Benadryl medicine. Let’s just say I didn’t indulge very much in dessert this year! To give Carlos and Teresa a break, we took care of our own meals and let them have the day as a family. We made a big brunch and supper later that day, but nothing special. Only with the Holy Spirit could four strangers like us spend a relaxing, enjoyable Christmas day doing absolutely nothing but talking, cooking, worshipping, and playing dominoes. Christmas night we invited Carlos’ family and some people from church to watch the Nativity Story movie with us outside with a sheet and projector out on the basketball court. It was a chilly night, but the story was powerful and afterwards we sang some carols in Spanish and English by candlelight. Simple and calm. I did not miss one bit of the hustle and bustle of Christmas time at home—only my family.

On Sunday, the day after Christmas, the entire congregation went out to the new land to spend a day playing, relaxing, and worshipping the Lord! I can’t tell you all how clean and beautiful the facility looks already since we saw it in November. Much still needs to be done, but every square foot was filled with people playing volleyball, basketball, baseball, flying kites, sitting and talking, running, and playing dominoes. It was so fun to see the people from church in a different setting—like they were becoming “real” people to me.  Along with Pastor Carlos, Jose Miguel (the man who always stood in front at church, clapping with a lot of gusto…gray hair…raspy voice…chubby) seems to see himself as my father here, and he is always one of the first people to hug me and ask me how I’m doing when he sees me. He also seems to have taken it upon himself to teach me how to play dominoes (and win). So far that’s only resulted in me losing ridiculously to Pastor Rudolfo, Pablo (Kilo 16), and the other men. I think they tolerate me because I smile a lot and they are afraid of Pastor Carlos.

OH yes! And I almost forgot, Sunday the Holy Spirit began to move in me. Much to my dismay, it manifested itself in sobs…I bawled like a baby…and I didn’t even know why I was crying. For those of you who don’t know me that well yet, I hate crying. And the only thing I hate worse is crying in public. On Sunday, I was absolutely soaked in sweat because I was trying so hard to hold back the tears. I was a sweaty, swollen-faced mess. Instead of ‘La Americana’ I am now ‘La Loca!’ Even if I could have explained in English why I was crying (which I couldn’t have) the poor, sweet people who dared to ask me what was wrong only walked away very confused as I could only look at them and shrug my shoulders. The crying didn’t stop on Sunday though, and actually my eyes are still a little swollen from tears this morning. I’m trying to embrace this new wave of the Spirit in my life. Now that it’s been happening for nearly a week, I truly think that the Spirit is cleaning me, building a new altar for the Lord in my heart, and I am grieving things of my old-self that I am not even consciously aware are being stripped away...but okay—enough psycho-babble!

On Monday I left on my own—without Kristin, Jayne, and Garryl—to go to a camp in La Romana with a bunch of people from Pastor Carlos’ church for a retreat of sorts. I packed a pillow, skirts for 4 days, and all my insecurities and set off in the bus hoping for the best. The things that God revealed to me are very personal in nature, and I’m not sure that everyone would benefit if I shared them, so I won’t. I will however tell you that I made good friends, taught some kids how to float/swim, I learned more Spanish, played dominoes, I struck out on my own, made myself uncomfortable, was made uncomfortable, felt the touch of the Holy Spirit, saw physical demonic activity, took a shower in a bucket, played my guitar, ate too much food, reached the end of what I thought I could handle, (was taken a little bit further), and received personal words from the Lord. We just got home today and I truly feel like I’m “home.” I feel cared for as an individual, like people see me, and I am soaking wet with the rain of the Holy Spirit. Guys, I really feel like I am home. If you’re interested to hear a little more about what the Lord is speaking to me, I’ll try and elaborate a little more in a personal email. I am still waiting for a clearer vision from God for what steps to take next, but Garryl’s words are ringing in my ears, “Your work here is long. God is teaching you patience. You are going to need patience.” I think that means my work here, in Hato Mayor, is long.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! We will be bringing in the New Year celebrating and praising at church tomorrow night! I hope you all have a chance to give your next year to the Lord!

week.[TRES].

Week 3 is gone now too.

As much as I miss you all, I’m beginning to get kind of alarmed by how fast my time here is slipping through my fingers. It’s officially December 23^rd I woke up this morning because I was chilly. Didn’t know that was possible here, but it happened!

This letter may seem a little premature, but I actually posted my entry late. Kristin and I ran out of Internet service last Wednesday and didn’t get to the service store in San Pedro until Monday of this week. That was an experience in itself…the store is located inside a mall and I experienced major culture shock within its walls. For the first time in nearly a month, I was suddenly aware that I wasn’t wearing pants, earrings, mascara, or toe nail polish. I think I felt like the Amish people must feel when they go to Wal-Mart back at home. I both envied and pitied the people I saw there that day. I much prefer it where I live in Hato Mayor. I didn’t like how I felt that day. But we now officially have Internet until January 20^th so it was a successful and needed trip!

Last week’s update left you with my return to the church in Joolonga…we did indeed go back to their church/lawn last Thursday night with most of Carlos’ church’s congregation, and brought with us a generator, lighting, and a sound system. Do you know what happened? The prayers of the people got longer and louder. There wasn’t as much singing and dancing. Everyone tried to crowd under the light. Some speakers got very fond of hearing their own voices, and they spoke much longer than they needed to. I felt like the entire service I felt God saying to me, “Do you see that these nice things are taking these people away from me? The wealthy church (Carlos’ church here) thinks they’re helping, but the Joolonga people are becoming distracted by lights and a microphone. The worship was more genuine when they sang and danced in the dark.” I’m still processing those thoughts, but I am starting to think I have no idea what the “poor church” really needs—or at least that it takes a lot more forethought to anticipate & assess their needs than throwing light bulbs and a microphone at them. (Hey! I see my macro social work background crashing head on with missions)

For some added perspective, I am also learning during my time here that loud, bombastic worship and scream-praying can be as strictly “religious” as the Rosary and our impassionate prayers back at home. I am honestly starting to believe that the Dominicans believe that God is hard of hearing.  Sometimes it reminds me of the Old Testament story when Daniel goes up against the Baal prophets and those prophets all began jumping and screaming and cutting themselves to draw some response from their god, Baal. I catch myself praying under my breath, “Lord, thank you for hearing me even when I whisper.” I only stay this because when we come as a short-term mission group, we often leave after experiencing 1 night of worship thinking that the Dominican church is so much more passionate and on fire than we are. Though that is true about some people, many others I believe were simply raised in a culture where you scream when you pray and dance when you sing. So before you beat yourself up too much for quietly standing in place during worship at home, remember that God sees the heart and that jumping and clapping doesn’t necessarily mean you love God more.

<<There’s a lot going on in my head about what could be done here in the Dominican. Sometimes, it all feels a little too heavy for me and I need something to lighten the mood. I’ll be honest, less than 6 months ago I had 2 life goals: to pay off my school loans and to never, ever get super fat. So, you could say that my world is getting a little deeper>>

Last Sunday, instead of going along with everyone else to the church service, I got dropped off at the small church in Guayabal with nothing but my Bible and guitar, to preach and sing at Pastor Cruz’s church. I’ll admit I was kind of ticked when Pastor Carlos told me I would be preaching on Sunday, only to find out he meant for me to go completely alone without a translator. It seems I avoid being uncomfortable, when left to my own devices and this seemed like it was going to be very uncomfortable. I did it though! And it went really well—though it was short because I had to stick with a relatively small vocabulary since I was speaking. I spoke about Matthew 5:13 “You are the salt of the world.” I brought a visual aid from Teresa’s kitchen and everything J I spoke about how salt is used to 1) bring flavor and 2) to preserve things and how we as Christians are to be the delicious flavor of this world and to preserve people eternally. Afterwards I got a ride on Pastor Cruz’s motorcycle back to the main church, and we had a fun conversation on the way back. It’s becoming a real treat to me to see the faces of people as they realize (after 3 weeks of being here) that I actually can speak Spanish. SURPRISE! Maybe if they’d even tried talking to me before…

In some exciting news, Kristin has a couple from the US coming this afternoon for a week long “vision trip” to support Kristin and the ministry she is doing here. It should be fun to have some more English speakers around! Kristin and I spent all of yesterday morning getting ready for their arrival, walking around to find an internet café with a printer in Hato Mayor, changing over some more cash into pesos, and then grocery shopping at Iberia. I know the women on my team in particular wanted to hear about it, so here is a little visualization activity. Imagine the amount of shoppers at Wal-Mart any given Sunday afternoon…now, shrink the store to 1/7^th that size but keep all the people inside…and then add the clutter of a “bargain basement.” THAT’s Iberia! The only place in the world you can buy 8 apples for $.25 cents (total) and a box of Corn Flakes for $5!

Now, because Kristin has other people to be responsible for now, I am finally beginning to stretch my wings. I decided to go to the annual Cristiano Shalom camp Dec 26-31^st alone without her! The camp is really a time of worship, recreation, and socialization for the church as a body. Lots of youth and 20-somethings go. Kristin has spent the past 4 months here getting to know people, but (sadly) most people here still just see me as “Kristin’s friend.” As great as it is to have a friend here, it has put me in a bubble socially. It’s like people think I have a friend quota of 1 or something! So I know at times the camp is going to be really awkward, but I really want to get to know these people. If I’m seriously going to live here, I need to jump in. I also budgeted the money I have and found I have enough to provide a “scholarship” for a young adult who couldn’t afford to go to the camp on his/her own. It’s going to be a surprise and I’m letting Carlos decide who to give it to!

This was a pretty uneventful week. I did get exciting news from Carlos on Tuesday—Kristin and I are going to be the overseers of a group of 10-17 Dominican translators working with a short-term-mission organization called SCORE in the DR for about 9 days in January. We get paid a whole $10/day and will have room and board at their facility in a town called Juan Dolio. My ears always perk up when an opportunity comes my way that I didn’t look for myself (thanks GodJ). Other than that upcoming opportunity, I really feel like God is breaking me down to build me back up again in the future. He’s teaching me what matters, what I am not above doing, how it feels to be overlooked, but also what it means to be loved beyond all comprehension all at the same time. I’ve never felt like more of a “nobody” yet more of a “somebody” in my whole life. Right now I am no one here, but I am everything to God.

You’d think I’d have learned enough in the past 3 months about waiting to know better than to complain that He isn’t giving me my vision yet. Scratch that prayer request last week. Instead, my prayer (and prayer request is): “Lord, I have no idea what you’re doing, but please let my heart be willing for you to prepare it for whatever is next!” God knows my direction and He has the BEST COMMUNICATION SKILLS! It apparently isn’t in my best interest to know right now. God prepares us for change through HEART PREPARATION, not INFORMATION. Amen!

Guess what? It’s LAUNDRY DAY again! Love to you all.

week.{DOS}

Week 2 is done and gone! Say it isn't so!

                                                       

I’m going to apologize in advance for the layout of this update; I myself hate reading a play-by-play chronological update of anything. Yet, as much as I would like to make this letter a lot more interesting and artsy, I’m afraid that if I don’t tell you about my week in a day-to-day sequence, then I will forget something J And selfishly, I’m writing these updates as much for myself as for you all—so that I can keep a mock-journal that I would never take the time to write otherwise.

Last week’s update left you with my return from La Vega. It was a great trip despite the tragic number of mosquito bites I received. We also ate at Pica Pollo twice in two days. Blech.  It’s like the McDonald’s of the Dominican Republic, and it is a favorite of Carlos! But I digress…

Most of Friday, Kristina and I helped Chappy and Pastor Carlos set up for a pastor’s conference that they held in the church below Carlos’ house. Chappy is launching his program in a new prison in the DR (El Seybo), and he is rallying up pastors to support and carry out the work that needs to be done. This was the inhumane prison Carlos told us about that keeps 1400 men in a very small square of land! By the end of the conference the people had volunteered to do 2 prayer walks before ministry will start in January. On the 8^th and 15^th of January a large group of people have committed to traveling to El Seybo and doing a prayer walk 7x around the prison ground. It’s just like Joshua in Jericho! They will pray like that for the 2 weeks leading up to their first day of work inside the prison grounds. I am already wishing that I could be around in January to see the beginning of the physical ministry in this prison. Please be praying for the hearts of the men that God wants to touch in El Seybo.

Friday night and Saturday were a lot of fun since there was a triple wedding slated for the 11^th at Carlos’ church and my friend Kristin got to participate! Kristin was a bridesmaid—and since it was a triple wedding, there were about 8 couples of bridesmaids and groomsmen. They had to do 6 “practices,” which Kristin and I calculated to be 20+ hours practicing for a 35 minute ceremony. Spanish is my 2^nd language and I think I probably could have run a more efficient rehearsal, but it was fun to watch and get to know people. It seems to me that organizing young adults in the Dominican Republic would be very similar to herding cats. The day of the wedding (Saturday) was a beautiful day, the church wasn’t decorated in time so at 4:00 pm that day they decided to push the wedding back a few hours (haha, can you imagine doing that in the US?), and the ceremony was beautiful. Kristin got to go to a salon and get her hair done—it was so pretty and curled, but they used so much hairspray that her hair became a hard, immobile, plastic helmet that they had fastened to her scalp…much like a Mrs. Potato-Head. A really PRETTY Mrs. Potato-Head. We also got to go shoe (and Oreo) shopping with Wascar before the wedding…need I say more on that? Wascar (the big, manly truck driver) helped her pick out the prettiest gold sandals and everything—too funny....

Sundays are always eaten up by the church and the getting to- and from-. This Sunday in particular there was a funeral for one of the members of the congregation. He was the man in the wheelchair who always sat in the front at the services, and he died Saturday night. What was so neat was to see Carlos transport the entire Sunday morning congregation to the funeral and to hear them praising because now this man is WALKING on streets of gold with our Savior. He is in a wheelchair no longer! AMEN. Also, at Sunday night’s service, Kristin and I got to play guitar and sing for everyone and we chose Consuming Fire. It’s so fun to sing with a friend! And since I don’t know any of the songs here (and I’m not a big fan of Dominican shout-singing) I was beginning to forget how much I love music, and that I’m a singer. I think I’m going to start playing guitar instead of piano before prayer services Thursday nights.

Monday was a long-awaited lazy day. Believe it or not, we don’t really have a ton of free-time here, even though it feels as if I only have a set plan for 10% of each day (which usually means a run and a showerJ). That day Kristin got a username and password for a friend’s Netflix account so we got to watch a movie together: Alice in Wonderland (the new one)! As we curled up in her bottom bunk around her laptop screen, I found myself forgetting that I was in a foreign, 3^rd world country. Can freezing cold showers and movies like that exist in the same world? I also spent a lot of time Monday working on the Restoration videos that Kristin brought with her from the States. I think I mentioned them last week, but it is a series of videos/workbook all about restoring God’s people from their pasts so that they have a firm foundation for their identity and can heal past hurts that are hindering them in their Christian walks. It’s far too powerful for me to explain in this email, but I can say that God is truly healing my heart from some heavy scars of my past. And I have a notebook FILLED with Scripture written as tiny as my hands can legibly write. I am learning so much and I am thirsty for God’s word. Sometimes I laugh, and think, “Did God really have to take me to the DR to work though my hurts with some DVD’s from some guy in Oregon? To teach me to read the Bible?” But even if that’s the only reason I’m here (which I don’t think is the case), it’s worth it.

Tuesday Kristin and I traveled to Boca Chica to sit in on another meeting Chappy had at the prison in La Victoria. It was our first real “big girl” day, because we got to the station, Boca Chica, and back home again (which, I might add, meant getting dropped off by a bus in the middle of Hato Mayor with no idea where we were!) but we walked our way back to Carlos’ house. The Lord truly showed us the way. Chappy also had some prophetic words for me from Scripture as we said goodbye to him, but I will share that later in this email.

Yesterday was a good day—I called it my “Wife Practice Day.” I decided that I was going to do all of my and Kristin’s laundry from the past week. I’d like to walk you through the practice of laundry here in the DR, because I will never look at my mother’s front-load, high-efficiency, custom-set, laundry machine with disdain EVER again. First I sorted our clothes out into whites, towels, colored clothes and dressy colored clothes. Then I filled the washer with water from a hose, added laundry soap and put in my first load that was basically sloshed around for 15 minutes by a little agitator. Next, I took every article from the washer, wrung it out, rinsed it in the sink, wrung it out, dunked it in fabric softener, wrung it out, and put it in the dryer, which is a glorified centrifuge. After the laundry comes out of the centrifuge, I then took it outside where it needed to be hung on the line to dry. Yep, I did four loads of that. It took me 3 hours and I NEVER STOPPED MOVING. I also think I’m going to have the forearms of a body builder if I have to do this on a regular basis. My little hands are so weak that my fingers cramp from having to wring out so many clothes. I might add the fact that those clothes are STILL out on the line this morning…winter has truly arrived in the Dominican and so many days are cloudy and rainy. 

Finally, last night Pastor Carlos took us to a “church” in Jolonga. They had no electricity, no lights, no sound equipment, and we held the service outside under a tarp in lawn chairs. The moon was beautiful. We had nothing but our voices, a drum, that cheese-grater instrument, and a tambourine. These people danced for the Lord and it was such a treat for me! Carlos’ church doesn’t necessarily condone dancing, so I went and hid in the shadows and danced my little heart out to their drum beats. It was like a campout. It was one of the simplest and beautiful church services I have ever been to and we’re going back tonight!

All in all, guys, I am really asking for prayer. Kristin has been here for over 4 months now, and is starting to work on her Mission Statement for when she goes back home to raise more support for fulltime ministry. It’s hard for me to not start feeling panicked because I’m not sure what my purpose for being here is yet. As she is beginning to see her vision I am learning lessons in humility, love, and against jealousy and pride. I am so happy for her! And yet I want God to begin opening my eyes. I trust His timing and know He is perfect, but will you all please pray that my heart would be ready to accept the vision God has for me? I was explaining this situation to Chappy on Tuesday, when he told me to open the book of Luke 24 (specifically verse32). It speaks of the disciples walking on the road to Emmaus after Jesus’ crucifixion and how they didn’t recognize the resurrected Jesus for who He was until they invited Him in for supper that night. Then they said, “Were not our hearts burning within us as he talked with us on the road and explained the Scriptures to us?” That’s how I feel—my heart is burning within me all the time here, but God’s purpose for me has not yet been revealed. In the meantime I am learning the simple things. I am still waiting for the day when I wake up, put on a skirt, and don’t feel like I’m wearing a costume.

Love to you all! “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” 2 Cor 12:14

week.[UNO]

I can’t believe it has only been a week, in all honesty. This place is rocking my world. At its worst, I am tired of cold showers and the word “Americana” (or worse…”la otra”…the OTHER ONE! Gah) and the stares that come with it.

After I left the team at the airport, I hopped back on the bus and Pastor Carlos started laughing to my friend Kristin. He said, “Now is the part where Kayla says—oh my gosh what am I doing here?” I was in for quite the ride. I got to meet Kristin’s friends Chappy and Sandy right away. Chappy used to teach at Bethel Seminary and now does Christ-centered rehabilitation inside the DR’s biggest and baddest prisons. I learned about their mission and how they’ve planted 12 churches (inside the prison! It’s like a city of it’s own), began teaching inductive Bible study & hold classes with exams, begin to teach the men a trade, and eventually put them out on a “parole ranch” where they are given agricultural and character work to do in exchange for more freedom and a savings account that they can access when they are released. It is so cool! Plus they are from San Diego so they speak perfect English and look like me ;) It’s kind of a breath of fresh air.

I’ve also gotten to attend lots more church services and am getting better at understanding Spanish through that muffled microphone and the horrible echo. On Thursday, Carlos sent me to the church early with Wascar on his motorcycle so I could play the piano while people came into the church. A little out of my comfort zone (piano and “el motor”), but Carlos told me I would never be “ready” when I tried to convince him that I definitely wasn’t! It was good for me. He hasn’t asked me to do it again though so I’m not sure if he was trying to intimidate me that first week or if I was just really bad. I’m trying not to overthink it.

I have been meeting a ton of the youth and young adults at the church and it has made this experience so much fun! They are intelligent, kind, and so welcoming to me. One of the girls, Mairobi, took us on a tour of her high school and then Kristin and I went to her team’s volleyball practice. The schools are so noisy! It’s like a zoo. But Mairobi told us that she learns so much there…I can’t even imagine. They all wear uniforms, but that’s about as professional as it got. At the volleyball practice they all were wearing jean shorts and street shoes, and they play on cement with garbage everywhere. I biffed it tripping over a girl, and so I still have some gravel in my palm, knee, and elbow. All in all it was a good day. And you want to know one of the best things about my new friends? They all live with their parents too! Also, I’m pretty sure that if one of the guys here could get a hold of my dad’s email address, there is a guy here who would be asking his permission to propose to me…it’s actually really unsettling and I’m trying to transcend language barriers as I tell him I have absolutely no interest. Boys.

On Sunday, as some of you have already seen (and probably heard) the Lord healed me of my food allergies! A special thanks to whoever left that walnut/almond/blueberry trail mix. It was delicious. So are the chocolates, caramels, other trail mix, and Cliff Bars. Thanks to you all and the Lord! Carlos told me to be careful though, or he would have to bounce me like a basketball back to the United States I will be so round.

On Tuesday I had the opportunity to travel to Boca Chica (on the local bus—el guagua) at 7:00am to meet Chappy and head to La Victoria, the biggest and “baddest” prison in the Dominican Republic. When we got there I was a little scared at first as we were let in to the prison. I looked straight down at my feet, walked as fast as I could behind Chappy and our guide, and ignored the whistles and “Americana” comments. We made our way into the middle of the prison where there is a church, and I watched as 30+ imprisoned men sat like little boys and waited to see the grades they had received for their first Bible exam. Some got A’s and Bibles, others B’s, C’s, and a few didn’t pass. Chappy last-minute asked me to talk to the men. The Lord gave me Romans 4:1-8. I spoke the whole thing in Spanish…so I can officially say I preached to and praised God with men in a 3^rd world prison. To see them praise and cry out to God—I can’t imagine anyone more at the end of themselves. In prison here, you don’t get food and if your family doesn’t bring you any then you don’t eat. Some people even pay rent to stay in nicer cells; they make their own “laws.” There is truly a city inside the walls. We are going back next Tuesday and I am already looking forward to it. You can pray for the ministry there and for the safety of the workers, but truly if God is for us than what can mere man do to us?

Today I am coming home from a 4 hour trip to La Vega to visit and encourage a woman named Selenia, her family, and her church. She and her husband and children were called to start a church in La Vega so they left their community to follow Him. La Vega is a mostly Catholic and Haitian community, and so they are facing a lot of difficulties trying to convey relationship in an atmosphere of religion. They are also having trouble finding work here and were down to eating just plantains for awhile and only have basic running water and occasional electricity. I watched last night as the Lord arranged for them a new, nicer and more secure home closer to their church! God is so good. Also, Carlos gave Selenia and her family some of the blankets from our 2010 mission group, pillows, deodorant and soap, and a big can of bugspray (for some perspective, last night Kristin and I got close to 20 mosquito bites each at their house. They said that is very normal). So God is already spreading the generosity of our group!

Continue to pray for our time here, Kristin and I are getting along so well and I can’ t believe I only met this woman 2 weeks ago. We are staying up in a room in Carlos’ house, and I have the top bunk! We’re also going through Restoration series together—very similar to Celebrate Recovery—and I am learning a lot. Oh—another praise, when the team left I took the money God provided me to stay here and found that I had more than I thought I needed for my stay here…only to find out a few days ago that Pastor Carlos needs $14/day! I am positive that I will have just enough money for my stay here. Only God would have known I would need that.

On a personal note, I am most assuredly ruined for a “normal life” in the United States. Sometimes I have to ask God to settle my heart when I begin to panic over how I’m going to get back here after January 20^th. I’m still not sure about my ministry here but God is speaking all the time and I still have a lot of time left here. Please be praying that God will reveal His plan to me and that I would trust His ability to provide a way for me to make this my life!

I hope this wasn’t too long J I wanted to make sure you guys could all smell what I’m steppin’ in, in this land of 'faith and flies.'

"God physically healed me."

I write this post with a bit of caution...not because I don't want to share what God has done for me, but more because I want to write this in a way that gives all of the glory to my LORD. It's true, He healed me; but His purpose in doing so is not to make me happy [though it does!] but to glorify Himself.


For the past 3 months I have felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to push the envelope with my view of God and what He can do. I began growing tired of reading the stories in Scripture about God parting the seas and coming down in fire---and, at best, only experiencing little Holy Spirit "shivers" myself. In the last two months I have been setting aside time to fast and pray for a number of things. In the middle of my fast I felt led to pray for God to heal my food allergies and my mom suggested the same to me during the same time. Now, this was 2 months ago. [For those of you who don't know, I once came down with mononucleosis in high school and have had strong food allergies ever since to:  wheat, gluten, milk, eggs, rice, citrus fruits, most nuts, and soy to name a few. So, it's been a major thorn in my side for awhile]. Most days I would pray and ask God to heal me, thinking that He COULD but probably wouldn't. I didn't feel Him answering my prayers. I asked Him, "When will I know you've healed me, LORD?" I never truly heard an answer, but in conversation a few believers told me that in their experiences, God's healing generally came with a sensation of heat. Well, let's say I never got hot.


Then, this Sunday [Dec. 5th...a day I will now never forget] I woke up and participated in a congregational fast. The entire church joined together that morning and, unbeknownst to me [the sermons are all in Spanish...and I'm still getting the hang of things], early in the service began to pray for health and healing of the congregation as a whole. I began praying for a few individuals mentioned specifically, when I quickly began to feel intense heat in my stomach. The heat grew to dull warmth and spread through my arms and legs, but it stayed warmest around my middle. I couldn't believe what I was feeling! In my heart I was crying out, "This is it, isn't it God! You are healing me today?!" All I had was a picture in my mind of me going back to Carlos' house, taking a cookie out of the cupboard, proclaiming the work the LORD had done in me that morning, and to eat the cookie in front of the whole family! I gladly ate my first cookie in about 3 years when I got home.


I feel through this that God is also trying to teach me that there is nothing I can do to earn this gift, or have it taken away. I do, however, feel that it is much like the disciple who walked out on the water to follow Jesus, who began to sink in the water when he took his eyes off his Savior. Because of this, I know that for the rest of my life when I sit down to eat not only will I thank God and remember His miracle, but I must also eat in faith and not doubt this healing. And WOE IS ME if I fail to tell others around me about what He has done! So far I have enjoyed: peanuts, almonds, chocolate, cookies, rice, a hot dog bun, cheese, and eggs. I don't know if macaroni and cheese has ever been eaten for the glory of God, but it was yesterday!


God is good all the time. I am healed.