I was blessed with the opportunity to go sailing for 11 days in the British Virgin Islands back in January 2009. On that trip, my college group and I learned how to sail. Not motor. Sail.
We learned lots of terminology, how to chart our course, read the wind, to pull and loosen lines and sails, and how cramped life at sea 24/7 on a little boat with 8 people really is. We figured out the best places to sit when the boat was keeled at a steady 45 degrees, that conch shells [though pretty] are full of disgusting bugs, and that dingy boats are fun [and tricky] to drive while intoxicated...not that we were intoxicated...but--uhhhh--one can imagine it would be tricky. Anyway, cool stuff like that.
One thing I remember very clearly, though, was dropping anchor. Before that trip, I had always thought that once you dropped your anchor, no matter where it landed, you were "good." Set. Safe.
Wrong.
I learned that the proper way to drop anchor was to drop it down to the sea floor, and then continue to troll around slowly until the anchor [being dragged along the sandy bottom] became lodged firmly underneath a large rock. Or a reef. The bigger, the better. That way, when winds and waves come, your boat isn't swept away. It's good and stuck. Works great as long as you're anchored where you want to be.
Fast forward: *fzzzzzzzzzwhrrrrrrrrrrrip*
...Well, I went as a counselor to a high school camp in the Black Hills this past week. One of the nights, our speaker said something that whacked a funny bone in my heart. *zing*
He said, "When you anchor yourself to a lie, you end up in a bad place."
Last week God showed me that I anchored myself to the freaking Great Barrier Reef of bitterness about 9 months ago. And like that sailboat, I haven't been able to get passed my anchor point.
A year ago I graduated college and God never blessed me with the job I thought I deserved. The position and prestige He owed me for being such a good person. A life partner like all my friends were marrying. A place to live other than my parents' basement. These things made for great crevasses and cracks to lodge my anchor in. I cried. I prayed. I lied and said I was OK with it. I tried to count my blessings. I tried to squirm my way out of the circumstances God had orchestrated for me. And I tried to listen to God and become more in-tune with the plans He had for me. But I hadn't heard anything. Like almost no life direction from Him in 300 days.
I had anchored myself to a lie, and I was in a bad place.
See, I was trying to pursue God...but I could only get so far because I still had my anchor dropped on ole' Bitterness Point. But just as I admitted where I had dropped anchor, God graciously swept in and cut my tethered cord and began blowing a new wind in my sails.
He released me from my bitterness. From my resentment for life circumstances. From everything [I didn't have] that I was blaming Him for. From my expectations He had failed to exceed. He loosened my death-grip on the dreams I had for myself and replaced them with some new ones.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
When I let go of all that bitterness this week, moving beyond Bitterness Point, I started to hear from the Lord. God let me know that He has plans for me in ministry. Youth ministry, for now. I want to pursue seminary. I'm excited and anxious. I can see now that God wasn't ignoring me...I was just too stuck to hear what He was saying.
My bitterness for God's dreams? Wow. God's love is so unfair. Hallelujah!
Do you have bitterness? Acknowledge that...pray to God...and wait for Him to uproot your anchor and take you in a new direction.
We learned lots of terminology, how to chart our course, read the wind, to pull and loosen lines and sails, and how cramped life at sea 24/7 on a little boat with 8 people really is. We figured out the best places to sit when the boat was keeled at a steady 45 degrees, that conch shells [though pretty] are full of disgusting bugs, and that dingy boats are fun [and tricky] to drive while intoxicated...not that we were intoxicated...but--uhhhh--one can imagine it would be tricky. Anyway, cool stuff like that.
One thing I remember very clearly, though, was dropping anchor. Before that trip, I had always thought that once you dropped your anchor, no matter where it landed, you were "good." Set. Safe.
Wrong.
I learned that the proper way to drop anchor was to drop it down to the sea floor, and then continue to troll around slowly until the anchor [being dragged along the sandy bottom] became lodged firmly underneath a large rock. Or a reef. The bigger, the better. That way, when winds and waves come, your boat isn't swept away. It's good and stuck. Works great as long as you're anchored where you want to be.
Fast forward: *fzzzzzzzzzwhrrrrrrrrrrrip*
...Well, I went as a counselor to a high school camp in the Black Hills this past week. One of the nights, our speaker said something that whacked a funny bone in my heart. *zing*
He said, "When you anchor yourself to a lie, you end up in a bad place."
Last week God showed me that I anchored myself to the freaking Great Barrier Reef of bitterness about 9 months ago. And like that sailboat, I haven't been able to get passed my anchor point.
A year ago I graduated college and God never blessed me with the job I thought I deserved. The position and prestige He owed me for being such a good person. A life partner like all my friends were marrying. A place to live other than my parents' basement. These things made for great crevasses and cracks to lodge my anchor in. I cried. I prayed. I lied and said I was OK with it. I tried to count my blessings. I tried to squirm my way out of the circumstances God had orchestrated for me. And I tried to listen to God and become more in-tune with the plans He had for me. But I hadn't heard anything. Like almost no life direction from Him in 300 days.
I had anchored myself to a lie, and I was in a bad place.
See, I was trying to pursue God...but I could only get so far because I still had my anchor dropped on ole' Bitterness Point. But just as I admitted where I had dropped anchor, God graciously swept in and cut my tethered cord and began blowing a new wind in my sails.
He released me from my bitterness. From my resentment for life circumstances. From everything [I didn't have] that I was blaming Him for. From my expectations He had failed to exceed. He loosened my death-grip on the dreams I had for myself and replaced them with some new ones.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
When I let go of all that bitterness this week, moving beyond Bitterness Point, I started to hear from the Lord. God let me know that He has plans for me in ministry. Youth ministry, for now. I want to pursue seminary. I'm excited and anxious. I can see now that God wasn't ignoring me...I was just too stuck to hear what He was saying.
My bitterness for God's dreams? Wow. God's love is so unfair. Hallelujah!
Do you have bitterness? Acknowledge that...pray to God...and wait for Him to uproot your anchor and take you in a new direction.
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