week.[TRES].

Week 3 is gone now too.

As much as I miss you all, I’m beginning to get kind of alarmed by how fast my time here is slipping through my fingers. It’s officially December 23^rd I woke up this morning because I was chilly. Didn’t know that was possible here, but it happened!

This letter may seem a little premature, but I actually posted my entry late. Kristin and I ran out of Internet service last Wednesday and didn’t get to the service store in San Pedro until Monday of this week. That was an experience in itself…the store is located inside a mall and I experienced major culture shock within its walls. For the first time in nearly a month, I was suddenly aware that I wasn’t wearing pants, earrings, mascara, or toe nail polish. I think I felt like the Amish people must feel when they go to Wal-Mart back at home. I both envied and pitied the people I saw there that day. I much prefer it where I live in Hato Mayor. I didn’t like how I felt that day. But we now officially have Internet until January 20^th so it was a successful and needed trip!

Last week’s update left you with my return to the church in Joolonga…we did indeed go back to their church/lawn last Thursday night with most of Carlos’ church’s congregation, and brought with us a generator, lighting, and a sound system. Do you know what happened? The prayers of the people got longer and louder. There wasn’t as much singing and dancing. Everyone tried to crowd under the light. Some speakers got very fond of hearing their own voices, and they spoke much longer than they needed to. I felt like the entire service I felt God saying to me, “Do you see that these nice things are taking these people away from me? The wealthy church (Carlos’ church here) thinks they’re helping, but the Joolonga people are becoming distracted by lights and a microphone. The worship was more genuine when they sang and danced in the dark.” I’m still processing those thoughts, but I am starting to think I have no idea what the “poor church” really needs—or at least that it takes a lot more forethought to anticipate & assess their needs than throwing light bulbs and a microphone at them. (Hey! I see my macro social work background crashing head on with missions)

For some added perspective, I am also learning during my time here that loud, bombastic worship and scream-praying can be as strictly “religious” as the Rosary and our impassionate prayers back at home. I am honestly starting to believe that the Dominicans believe that God is hard of hearing.  Sometimes it reminds me of the Old Testament story when Daniel goes up against the Baal prophets and those prophets all began jumping and screaming and cutting themselves to draw some response from their god, Baal. I catch myself praying under my breath, “Lord, thank you for hearing me even when I whisper.” I only stay this because when we come as a short-term mission group, we often leave after experiencing 1 night of worship thinking that the Dominican church is so much more passionate and on fire than we are. Though that is true about some people, many others I believe were simply raised in a culture where you scream when you pray and dance when you sing. So before you beat yourself up too much for quietly standing in place during worship at home, remember that God sees the heart and that jumping and clapping doesn’t necessarily mean you love God more.

<<There’s a lot going on in my head about what could be done here in the Dominican. Sometimes, it all feels a little too heavy for me and I need something to lighten the mood. I’ll be honest, less than 6 months ago I had 2 life goals: to pay off my school loans and to never, ever get super fat. So, you could say that my world is getting a little deeper>>

Last Sunday, instead of going along with everyone else to the church service, I got dropped off at the small church in Guayabal with nothing but my Bible and guitar, to preach and sing at Pastor Cruz’s church. I’ll admit I was kind of ticked when Pastor Carlos told me I would be preaching on Sunday, only to find out he meant for me to go completely alone without a translator. It seems I avoid being uncomfortable, when left to my own devices and this seemed like it was going to be very uncomfortable. I did it though! And it went really well—though it was short because I had to stick with a relatively small vocabulary since I was speaking. I spoke about Matthew 5:13 “You are the salt of the world.” I brought a visual aid from Teresa’s kitchen and everything J I spoke about how salt is used to 1) bring flavor and 2) to preserve things and how we as Christians are to be the delicious flavor of this world and to preserve people eternally. Afterwards I got a ride on Pastor Cruz’s motorcycle back to the main church, and we had a fun conversation on the way back. It’s becoming a real treat to me to see the faces of people as they realize (after 3 weeks of being here) that I actually can speak Spanish. SURPRISE! Maybe if they’d even tried talking to me before…

In some exciting news, Kristin has a couple from the US coming this afternoon for a week long “vision trip” to support Kristin and the ministry she is doing here. It should be fun to have some more English speakers around! Kristin and I spent all of yesterday morning getting ready for their arrival, walking around to find an internet café with a printer in Hato Mayor, changing over some more cash into pesos, and then grocery shopping at Iberia. I know the women on my team in particular wanted to hear about it, so here is a little visualization activity. Imagine the amount of shoppers at Wal-Mart any given Sunday afternoon…now, shrink the store to 1/7^th that size but keep all the people inside…and then add the clutter of a “bargain basement.” THAT’s Iberia! The only place in the world you can buy 8 apples for $.25 cents (total) and a box of Corn Flakes for $5!

Now, because Kristin has other people to be responsible for now, I am finally beginning to stretch my wings. I decided to go to the annual Cristiano Shalom camp Dec 26-31^st alone without her! The camp is really a time of worship, recreation, and socialization for the church as a body. Lots of youth and 20-somethings go. Kristin has spent the past 4 months here getting to know people, but (sadly) most people here still just see me as “Kristin’s friend.” As great as it is to have a friend here, it has put me in a bubble socially. It’s like people think I have a friend quota of 1 or something! So I know at times the camp is going to be really awkward, but I really want to get to know these people. If I’m seriously going to live here, I need to jump in. I also budgeted the money I have and found I have enough to provide a “scholarship” for a young adult who couldn’t afford to go to the camp on his/her own. It’s going to be a surprise and I’m letting Carlos decide who to give it to!

This was a pretty uneventful week. I did get exciting news from Carlos on Tuesday—Kristin and I are going to be the overseers of a group of 10-17 Dominican translators working with a short-term-mission organization called SCORE in the DR for about 9 days in January. We get paid a whole $10/day and will have room and board at their facility in a town called Juan Dolio. My ears always perk up when an opportunity comes my way that I didn’t look for myself (thanks GodJ). Other than that upcoming opportunity, I really feel like God is breaking me down to build me back up again in the future. He’s teaching me what matters, what I am not above doing, how it feels to be overlooked, but also what it means to be loved beyond all comprehension all at the same time. I’ve never felt like more of a “nobody” yet more of a “somebody” in my whole life. Right now I am no one here, but I am everything to God.

You’d think I’d have learned enough in the past 3 months about waiting to know better than to complain that He isn’t giving me my vision yet. Scratch that prayer request last week. Instead, my prayer (and prayer request is): “Lord, I have no idea what you’re doing, but please let my heart be willing for you to prepare it for whatever is next!” God knows my direction and He has the BEST COMMUNICATION SKILLS! It apparently isn’t in my best interest to know right now. God prepares us for change through HEART PREPARATION, not INFORMATION. Amen!

Guess what? It’s LAUNDRY DAY again! Love to you all.